Have you ever done anything under the notion of "How hard could it be?"
Have you ever done anything under the guise of being lazy but had it turn out to be way more work than simply doing it the way you should've just done it in the first place?
This is a story about a young boy named Phollower who managed both these things in one fell swoop.
Once upon a time there was a boy named Phollower. One day he was getting ready to make the steak fajitas that the lovely Princess Sylvia requested for her evening meal. Phollower then realized that he stupidly forgot to buy the flour tortilla shells when he was at the store earlier. Fortunately for Phollower the grocery store is only 5 minutes from his house so getting the shells would be a piece of cake and take no time at all. Unfortunately for Phollower he decided to look in his copy of "How to Cook Everything" and saw that in the directions for making home-made tortillas is the statement "These are easier than they sound." Phollower thought making tortillas by hand would be a great way to show Princess Sylvia how much he cares about her and save him a trip to the store as well.
Poor, stupid, foolish Phollower.
It turns out that Mexican families generally have a dozen kids because it takes 12 people about 2 1/2 hours to make enough tortillas to feed a family one meal. Tortillas also do not, much to Phollower's surprise, end up actually being round when they're made by hand. They generally end up being shaped like a European country. Say, Romania or Poland. Before Limpy or Zoe get any bright ideas I'll tell you up front that even poor Phollower managed to keep any of them from looking like Italy. Bosnia & Herzegovina however, represent.
Also much to Phollower's surprise (and Princess Sylvia's delight) his tortillas came out tasting excellent. So excellent in fact that the lovely Princess Sylvia requested that Phollower always make the tortillas from scratch.
Oddly enough this entire episode has caused Phollower to believe in Jesus. As in, "I believe in having Jesus make my tortillas." In this case Jesus is pronounced hey-seuss, as if you wanted to get your copy of Green Eggs and Ham signed.
But of course Phollower agreed to make Princess Sylvia's tortillas because he loves her so much. And she lets him stay home all day and he needs to pretend like he does something productive.
And they lived happily ever after.
The End.
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6 comments:
Think of them more like rolling papers and less like tortillas.
zoe: Dude, if people had to make their own rolling papers no one would ever smoke joints. Except maybe for...ummm, man this post is taking forever.
If I had known they took so long, I would not have requested. They were just SOOOO much better than the store-bought kind. Better not make homemade pitas!
in east indian markets you should be able to find a chipati roller pin. it's shaped like a really poorly made joint, thin on the two outer ends but fatter in the middle (that's the way my joints used to look so i stopped smoking dope) the shape helps to make the dough turn around and makes a flat, round dough sheet. they really do work. chipatis, like tortillas, are labour intensive and require a minimum of 2 people unless one has been making them for decades (then it takes 10 minutes to make enough for a family of 1000)
i hear that pitas are easy to make though ;)
dykewife: Hey, I've seen those things on cooking shows before. I'll have to check that out if I'm going to keep making tortillas. A regular rolling pin was definitely not quite the right tool.
And my joints usually come out ok but I cheat and use a dollar bill to help me roll them. But to be honest I'm much more of a bong man if I have the choice.
Can't you just drag over some of those tired African kids and teach them to do it?
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