As I've mentioned before, The Spousal Unit and I (and as I've also mentioned before, mostly The Spousal Unit) run a fantasy hockey league. In our league you re-pick your team every week from 12 lists of players. Just for fun we pick a "random" list of players each week which we refer to as "The Monkey". Mostly we do it so you can feel really stupid for spending a couple hours picking players only to be beaten by a primate with just slightly less hockey knowledge than you have. Sometimes we roll a d20 (that's a 20 sided die for you non-D&D types) and sometimes we have people who don't follow hockey make picks based on some theme. Sylvia, myself, Zoe, and BP teamed up on the last couple monkey picks and this is what we came up with for a couple of the lists:
Week 12: D&D Theme
Winger #1: Sharp (CHIC) Oooo boy, that sword is SHARP!
Winger #2: Perry (ANA) …to block an attack from that sharp sword!
Winger #3: Lupul (NSH) What you look for when the DM tells you that you ARE NOT allowed to do something (see C1 slot for more info).
Winger #4: Satan (NYI) It just fits with the theme, right?
Center #1: Arnott (NSH) What the DM says when you ask if you ARE allowed to do pretty much anything you REALLY want to do - like have a baby dragon
Center #2: Legwand (NSH) He has some kind of wand. Failed my "Knowledge, Arcana" check so I'm not sure what it does.
Defense #1: Ranger (TB) D&D'ers will recognize this as a player class.
Defense #2: Burns (MINN) ...as a result of failed reflex save as a target of a fireball spell
Defense #3: Spacek (BUF) "You failed your spacek and are eaten by a cloaker."
Goalie #1: Ward (CAR) …a glyph of warding (special spell for the non-D&Ders)
Goalie #2: Miller (BUF) Every podunk village you go through has one of these. They are generally useless, but you visit them anyway.
Goalie #3: Fleury (PITT) With the sword, the parrying, the devil, the wand, the fireball, the cloaker, and the glyph, that was a fleury of action!
Week 14: Dinner at a fancy restaurant (the player lists changed so you'll see some players showing up in different lists than they did in week 12)
Winger #1: Stillman (CAR) That stillman cheese is quite sharp!
Winger #2: Cammalleri (LA) The fried cammalleri is delicious.
Winger #3: Perry (ANA) A scoop of perry's ice cream is great with the apple torte.
Winger #4: Tanguay (CGY) Would you like a Tanguay and tonic?
Center #1: Briere (PHIL) A warm briere is excellent with some crackers and fruit.
Center #2: Cullen (CAR) You can choose from a multitude of cullen-ary delights.
Defense #1: Kaberle (TOR) A bottle of Kaberle goes well with cheese.
Defense #2: Campbell (BUF) You will not find any Campbell's soup.
Defense #3: Schubert (OTT) Try the homemade raspberry schubert for dessert.
Goalie #1: Giguere (ANA) Another fine cheese offering.
Goalie #2: LeClaire (STL) Oooo I love chocolate filled leclaires!
Goalie #3: Sabourin (PITT) Maybe a bottle of Sabourin instead of the Kaberle?
Yes, we're dorks. Yes, we love hockey. Yes, we'll do it again. Don't make me put the foil on.
About Me
- Phollower
- Turn ons: The Buffalo Sabres and Euro-Style board games. Turn offs: Going to work
5 comments:
Good lord.
Speaking of hockey, two questions:
What did you think of the Pens/Sabres game on the 1st? Pretty cool, eh?
And, do you know if you're going to be a captain again this session?
o'butter: The game was awesome. Except for the ending, of course.
And, as far as I know, I'll be a captain again this session. I haven't officially been asked but I'm assuming I will be. The Fall session and the Winter session seem to more or less go together so be default I should be a captain again. Although I have nothing to do with who ends up on my team. Except that Sylvia will be. Or I'll have to put the foil on.
We also tend to have the others who are from our town and have the same hour drive on our team too so we can share rides.
The game was awesome. Fitting, perhaps, that Crosby would win it for the Penguins in overtime.
I think our league needs some cans of whatever the hell they were spraying on the ice in that one bad spot--CO2? Is that what it was?
But I didn't notice orange cones in any corners, like we have had in the past. Maybe whoever maintains the ice at our fine rink needs to take a lesson from the NHL's resident ice expert.
Just got the winter hockey rosters, and I see I'm on your team.
Sweet.
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